Why do I feel the Spirit still?

“If you feel the Spirit—when you pray, read the scriptures, teach, testify, or at any other time—then that is your witness that you have been forgiven or, alternatively, that the cleansing process is taking place, for the Spirit cannot dwell in an unholy tabernacle” (see Alma 7:21). In most cases the cleansing process takes time because our change of heart takes time, but in the interim, we can proceed with the confidence that God approves of our progress as manifested by the presence of His Spirit. Tad R. Callister

This quote was once taped to my bathroom mirror as a reminder that I would know that I had been forgiven of my sins if I felt the Spirit. I knew what the Spirit felt like. It was a warmth that flooded my chest and brought tears to my eyes when I was touched at conference or in the temple. It was a thought/reminder that randomly popped in my head to warn me of danger or remind me to grab something I forgot. It was a prompting to text someone to see how they were doing. It was a confirmation given when I bore my testimony on my mission.  It helped me feel like I wasn't alone.

When I took off my garments and had my first sip of coffee almost exactly a year ago, I was a little sad that theoretically I would never feel those things again. I mean, if the Spirit was really from God, and I was in direct rebellion of God, wouldn't that mean I would no longer have the companionship of the Holy Ghost?

Turns out, I feel "the Spirit" all the time. I feel a burning in my bosom when I see a movie about a gay teen being embraced and celebrated by his family. I get reminders to grab my keys or to check on my children. I still feel prompted to reach out to people and check on them. I have felt no lapse in spiritual experiences.

But wait...I do not wear garments, I do not follow the word of wisdom, I do not pray or read scriptures, and I definitely do not believe in god.

Why do I still feel the Spirit?

-J.