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Hard Questions

A family member wrote the following:

Sometimes do you ever wonder why God called you to do something for Him? There are many reasons why God shouldn't have called you, or me, or anyone else for that matter, but God doesn't wait until we are perfect to call us. Think of all those God used. You're in good company if you think you aren't ready for God to use.

  • Abraham lied. Sarah laughed at God's promises.

  • Moses stuttered. David's armor didn't fit.

  • John Mark was rejected by Paul.

  • Timothy had ulcers.

  • Hosea's wife was a prostitute.

  • Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.

  • Jacob was a liar.

  • David had an affair.

  • Solomon was too rich.

  • Jesus was too poor.

  • Abraham was to old.

  • David was too young.

  • Peter was afraid of death.

  • Lazarus was dead.

  • John was self-righteous.

  • Naomi was a widow.

  • Paul was a murderer.

  • So was Moses.

  • Jonah ran from God.

  • Miriam was a gossip.

  • Gideon and Thomas both doubted.

  • Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.

  • Elijah was burned out.

  • John the Baptist was a loudmouth.

  • Martha was a worry-wort.

  • Mary may have been lazy.

  • Samson had long hair.

  • Noah got drunk.

  • Did I mention Moses had a short fuse?

  • So did Peter, Paul and lots of folks.

But God doesn't hire and fire like most bosses because He's more like our Dad than a boss. He doesn't look at financial gain or loss. He's not prejudiced or partial, nor sassy and brassy, nor deaf to our cry. He's not blind to our faults. His gifts to us are free. We could do wonderful things for others and still not be wonderful ourselves. Satan says, "You're not worthy!" Jesus says, "So what? I AM." Satan looks back and sees our mistakes. God looks back and sees the Cross.

I finished reading Joseph Smith Rough Stone Rolling. Emma who knew Joseph best, as a widow she “professed a complete belief in the Book of Mormon.” She believed in the the early Joseph whose doctrines conformed to conventional Christianity. Until her death in 1879, the memory she chose to perpetuate for her children was of the milder Prophet, rather than the religious revolutionary of the Nauvoo years.” taken from the Epilogue. 

I believe the First Vision, I believe the Book of Mormon was revealed (not translated as we define the term) as was the Doctrine and Covenants, I believe the Priesthood was restored. (In teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith comments on the importance of keeping records and regrets that in the beginning they didn't keep proper records, thus we don't have records and dates for some events). I believe all the persecution and trials Joseph Smith endured as the Adversary was constantly fighting against him through apostates and those who didn't want the Mormon's monopolizing their politics and their votes, and the pressures of trying to meet the needs of all the converts, mostly poor, immigrating to be with the Saints helped the human side be reveled and he probably sinned and made mistakes, and spoke at times with authority when it was his opinion not revelation, he was first “Human”. I don't worship Joseph Smith but I honor him for the good he did.

I see the good the Church does today and feel the Holy Ghost give me peace.

I believe the Lord has given us Prophets, who are human, in this dispensation and I trust they are doing the best they know how and receiving revelation.

I know Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers and has blessed me throughout my life. Thus I intend to continue to live as I have in the past.

I understand your concerns and honor your right to choose how you want to live and will love you no matter what you choose. 

Yesterday morning while eating breakfast I watched a rebroadcast of the October 20, 2020 BYU Forum, was good and sad. Eboo Patel an interfaith leader talked about “We have the ability to bridge religious divides”. He talked about the importance of being educated about others beliefs and showed a chart with Latter-Day Saints being the least educated about others beliefs. We work and serve with people of many faiths as we live and serve in our communities and we need to be able to accept them and understand them, not try to convert them.



 Here are some questions the above email brings to my mind, they are questions I’ve been pondering this past year:  

  • If the book of Mormon isn’t a literal translation then why did so many people go to so much trouble to create plates?  
  • If it wasn’t a translation then why did Joseph go to so much trouble to make people think it was? Our whole lives, until recently, we’ve been told there were actual plates that Joseph translated and that there were actual angels that appeared to him.  
  • If it wasn’t a translation and if the plates weren’t needed or possibly weren’t real then why go to the trouble of having witnesses see them?  
  • If it wasn’t a translation then why have Joseph copy down characters and take them to someone to verify they were ancient characters?  
  • Is it possible Emma lied about some things because she knew her son Joseph III was in line to be the prophet of the church now known as the Community of Christ?  
  • If Joseph was a prophet why did he manipulate young girls into marrying him by promising them their families would go straight to the celestial kingdom if they married him?  
  • I know and know of hundreds, maybe thousands, of people that would be the kind of prophet we were raised believing Joseph was, couldn’t God have picked and prepared someone else who wouldn’t abuse his power and call that person as a prophet?  
  • Why don’t we know anyone that was actually healed by priesthood blessings? Why aren’t the apostles spending time in hospitals healing people if they really have the priesthood and power of God? Even if everyone isn’t supposed to be healed why aren’t they healing some? Why do we always hear stories in conference about having faith to not be healed but never a story about having faith to be healed?  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2016/08/accepting-the-lords-will-and-timing?lang=eng  
  • It’s verifiable fact that the church is sitting on over 100 billion dollars of excess tithing money. Having enough to run the church for a year or 3 is reasonable, but the amount of interest the church earns on that money every year now is enough to run the church in perpetuity. They no longer need tithing from anyone, especially not poor people. Some estimates say we could end world malnutrition with just $7 billion dollars a year, that’s about what the church makes on that fund each year. Why can’t the church end malnutrition with the money from that fund? Why can’t the church be building schools or hospitals or farms or wells with that money? The church does some good, but the church doesn’t do as much good as I think Jesus would do if he was actually running the church.  

 I stopped paying tithing on my gross and started paying tithing on my surplus, so I was paying close to $800 per month and switched to paying less than $100 per month to the church. Now I’m able to donate to the food bank, to groups that feed and school, children in Africa and groups that help black people that are suffering injustice due to the color of their skin. The windows of heaven were not open while I was paying on my gross, we were barely getting by each month, I wasn’t able to help the least of Jesus’ brethren. Now I can, now I have for my needs and wants and extra for the needs of those around me.    



If Satan tells us we aren’t worthy then who is the author of these messages that tell us we or some group of people aren’t worthy?  

I want to believe there is a God, but when I look around the LDS God is definitely not the God. There might be a God but the only thing that makes any sense is that he sent us here to learn to love each other and he doesn’t get involved in anything, meaning there are no prophets, there was no need for Jesus, there is no need for religious rites of passage and the only commandments that matter are love god and love your neighbor, drinking coffee or smoking or having sex outside marriage with someone you love aren’t things God cares about. Reasons:  

  • Why would God create us with all these desires and then make most of them sins that make us unworthy?  
  • If God is omnipotent why would God create us and leave us in a situation where it’s impossible to make it back to him without a savior?  
  • Why would God create some people and let them have happiness and love and then create other people and tell them they have to be celibate their whole lives and never have a spouse or a family unless they marry someone that disgusts them? (Imagine if it were reversed, does the idea of being with someone of the same gender disgust you? Then it probably disgusts a gay person to think of being with someone of the opposite gender)  


I have so many more thoughts but I’ll stop here.   

If you like the church and want to be part of it, that’s fine, but the church hurts a lot of people, gay people, people that make mistakes, go listen to interviews with regular people on the Mormon Stories podcast, John Dehlin has done over 500 interviews, most with regular members, and most of them have been emotionally damaged in some way by the church, and that’s just a small sampling. How many people in our family have lived most of their lives feeling shame and guilt for something they did that the church says was bad? Is that really how God want’s us to live? And if it’s not then why would he give us so many random commandments that cause shame and guilt? Recently President Nelson said "a life without god is a life filled with fear" my entire life with God was filled with fear. Fear I wasn't good enough, fear I was sinning, fear I wasn't doing enough, fear I wasn't good enough, fear my thoughts strayed, fear my actions weren't always Christ like, fear I was giving the church a bad name, fear I wasn't going to be with my family despite the good things I did and the covenants I made. I think President Nelson is wrong. A life lived in the LDS church is a life full of fear and a life without the LDS church is a life without fear.  

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